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Lara, Danielle, & Micaela

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[13 May 2007|09:22pm]
[ mood | naturally high ]

i can't believe i'm going to berkeley after all those times i said i never would. i guess it was meant to be. i'm so thrilled, i am too excited, and i can't wait to start in august. i'm ready for a change, to take the classes i want, to learn. wow i'm such a nerd. but that's okay! this is such an exciting time - APs are over, Prom is next week, Grad Night's coming up, the YEARBOOK IS COMING!, summer is here (I can feel it)! i can't wait for backyard bbqs, swimming, the beach, being TAN, shooting some new rolls, being carefree for a few months....it's gonna be amazing. and i feel too lucky to get to go to Europe twice this summer. I think the place I'm most excited for is Paris, i honestly cannot wait. It's the biggest regret of my life not taking my manual camera when i went. I think about it all the time, and i kick myself for it everyday. I've been looking at old black and whites online and i'm just itching to press my finger down on the shutter and click on the cobbled streets and cafes. wow, i think i'll be spending way too much on film. AHHHHHHH everything is just great right now. i'm so happy. i hope everyone else is this happy. until a later date...probably my yearly reflection (haha).


p.s. beware of iPods if you have a pacemaker!!! hahaha. but no, it's serious business.

1 got lost | running in a straight line

[19 Mar 2007|07:54pm]
[ mood | curious ]

The weird thing about dreams is that they never die. NYU was my dream from 6th to 11th grade. It was only this year I decided that I wanted something different. But I've vacillated so much these past months over where to go and what to do with my life that I don't know anymore. I have no idea about my future, I feel I keep going in circles - and it scares me. Getting into Tisch is truly a dream come true. But is it the dream I want? Recently I thought I'd never go - I wanted a campus, real Greek life, a football team to cheer on, school spirit, etc... But I also want photo, I want to spend hours studying famous photographers, learning new techniques, to go to lectures held by prominent people in the field. I'm so happy about my acceptance, to know that an admissions committee of a prominent photo department likes my work means a lot to me. I guess I have a lot to think about. This is just another option to get me excited about my next four years. I'm hesitant to open my mailbox these days, but getting amazing news like this is well worth my anxiety. AHHHHHH!!!!!!! this is so surreal!

1 got lost | running in a straight line

[05 Mar 2007|06:01pm]
I really wanted Penn.

[15 Jan 2007|08:10pm]
i want to be the girl in the picture in my lj layout...so badly.

and i know that even though i have pretty much wished every part of first semester away (to thanksgiving, december 14, winter break, and now semester break), that as soon as second semester starts i'll be wishing it all back again. how paradoxical life has become.

and all i really want to know is where i'll be next year.

...say you'll miss me [14 Jan 2007|11:52am]
I'm coninuously amazed by how songs can bring back such memories. It's going to be wierd listening to certain songs in the future, and have them remind me of high school - not just a few months or grades ago.

[04 Jan 2007|06:12pm]
It's 2007. I'm going to be a second semester senior in less than a month. This is literally insane. Before I can be second semester and theoretically have more time to do my photography, make this freakin yearbook, and do all the things I say I'm going to do once I have more time, I just need to survive the next 22 days. 22 days...
running in a straight line

[15 Dec 2006|06:50pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

what do colleges want from us? honestly???!

i guess there's always april.

oh please!

[29 Nov 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

people are SO fucking annoying! jesus, how hard is it to type up some copy, place some photos, and write a freakin caption? NOT AT ALL. what is wrong with this fucking staff? why dont they LISTEN. Do people think that their inactions will have no consequences? I felt like SCREAMING at all of them today. if this continues i think i might just burst.

!!!

3 got lost | running in a straight line

[26 Nov 2006|12:27pm]
i hate this. you'd think saying "bye, see u in a month" would get easier. it doesnt - it gets harder. i miss him.

[26 Oct 2006|02:45pm]
[ mood | content ]

FINALLYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My UPenn stuff was sent out today! By 10:30 am tomorrow, my app and portfolio will be delivered! ahhhhh! I HOPE THEY LIKE ME!

This is so weird, not having my Penn app to work on anymore. It's all I've done for the past month and half. I can't believe it's over. But I feel good about it. I gave it my all and whatever they decide, I'll know they truly made a decision based on me as a student, a person, and an artist.


I really want it to be december 15!

1 got lost | running in a straight line

chasing cars [22 Oct 2006|07:15pm]
the past four days were the best time of this year. amazing. it was like summer, but with rain, and yellow trees, and no creaky beds, and it was just wonderful. i want wonderful more often. how much longer til thanksgiving?


and those three words, they really aren't enough. :)

[15 Oct 2006|08:20pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i spent 8 hours in the darkroom today, not to mention the other 6 i spent there yesterday. i have printed at least a 100 pack of paper's worth of images. i am so exhausted and probably going to get cancer from all the fumes i have enhaled and all the chemicals that went on my clothes. and its not like i dont enjoy spending hours on end in the darkroom. its the opposite, i love it. but when my mind is filled until its going to burst thinking about all the college crap i have to get done and how much effort i am putting into this UPenn app, it starts to get burdensome. its as if in these past few weeks that i have been compressed by gravity itself. all i have done is app stuff and printing in the darkroom. i have gone out a total of twice my senior year, and one of those nights i was the driver. i didnt even really celebrate my 17th birthday. that occasion in itself was like another distraction i couldnt deal with just yet, it became a burden as well. i cant begin to fathom going out and having fun again. by the time im ready to come out of my room, everyone else will already be in their rooms, doing what i have been for a month already. i want it to be december 15 and i want it to be a joyous occasion. so fucking badly. it hurts. i have never worked so hard for something i have wanted so badly in my life. i want it. i need it. i have to have it. and its one of those things out of my control. celeste morgan in philadelphia holds my fucking future in her hands. the first true critique of my photographic body of work will happen without my knowdledge of what julie schneider and her colleagues have to say about it.

i am so fucking scared. i have worked so hard and i just really want to feel good about sending in the app. i want to send it off with no regrets. except for not having cured cancer or saving all the children of africa. but well, its too late to do any of those things.

4 got lost | running in a straight line

[10 Oct 2006|11:44pm]
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW BADLY I NEED IT TO BE OCTOBER 19. I might die if it doesnt come soon. it's that bad.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[25 Sep 2006|04:07pm]
[ mood | tired ]

ahhhhh!

essays, essays, essays.... i NEED TO THINK of ESSAYS!

[23 Sep 2006|04:46pm]
[ mood | content ]

...So I fall
I don't want to feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And I'll just fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I fall

I kiss your neck
I feel you breathing on my shoulder...


Oh how i miss them so much. Don't get me wrong, i love Jack's Maneequin. but i miss them. listening to their music reminds me of so much. and it makes me wonder what it will be reminding me of later.

i feel so good that i made a decision. me, making a decision, monumental! but it feels good. i'll just pray for the best come december 15. OH PLEASE!

"i've got a great idea, great idea..." [11 Sep 2006|04:57pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

senior year has come. along with it, so have college applications, stress, portfolios, new teachers, yearbook, and of course, school work. and while i may have a lot to deal with (like a photo teacher who is making me use a pinhole camera to take a photo of the fucking 2nd floor patio...i wont get into it now. not this time), i'm so fucking excited for some reason.

it's thrilling to think that in a few months, i will know where i'm going to college for the next four years of my life. and even though it's stress, it's finite. it will end. that's all we have to remember. it will end. there's just so much out there, to do in the world. and that's where we'll be, out in the world. the fucking WORLD. wow. scary. but exciting. really exciting.

[28 Aug 2006|11:35pm]
[ mood | sad ]

oh my god
this hurts like
hell.

[27 Aug 2006|01:10am]
i dont quite know how i am supposed to deal with this. i dont want to say goodbye.

[25 Aug 2006|06:26pm]
so school started. and sadly, this year was the ONE year i was NOT excited for the first day of school, of starting a new year, getting a clean slate, BLAH BLAH BLAH. i'm over it already. i miss last year like no one could ever describe because i can't even describe how much i LOVED my junior year. I hate walking through the hallways not recognizing ANYONE cause they're ALL below my grade and therefore I do not really know any of them. I miss last years seniors and keep expecting to see them walking through the hallways.

i HATE photo as of 6:28 p.m. August 25, 2006. I hate the fact that I do not look forward to 6th period everyday. I miss the old photo crew, especially Ms. Kuo. I hate how Mr. Briggs was telling us all how dirty it was in the darkroom and how the photo racks looked like they "came from king tut's tomb." I feel all alone in that class, in a class that used to be so comfortable and small. we were a family. i do not know how i feel about the new teacher...i just hope we dont butt heads too much.

and i hate how tuesday is slowly approaching. oh god.
1 got lost | running in a straight line

[23 Aug 2006|10:50pm]
[ mood | bummed ]

SCHOOL???? WHAT!!!! NOOOOOO!

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